MY YOGA AND TRAVEL JOURNEL : October 2018

Why fit in when you are born to stand out

By funtoosh_DIARIES - October 29, 2018

........To all my beautiful Readers..

You are all a masterpiece handicrafted by the almighty...

His marvellous work of art..

Celebrate the beauty within you ....

Celebrate your individuality...

Now i am gonna ask you a simple yet conflicting question ...

How do you define your yourself and your life?Are you a try hard desperate to fit in a group or do yo believe in standing out and outshining .....

Are you spending enough of your energy and time in trying to adjust and get accepted by the group or a society or in family or with friends?

Are you ok with living the life of a puppet and being controlled and manipulated by the strings of your group norms or standards.....?

Now is that energy and time really worth it?

We are no robots or slaves to someone to feel obliged to conform..

When we are not aware of our self worth and our strengths,we tend to easily forgo ourself in the crowd...You find fitting in with the crowd is the easiest shortcut.....

certain twist n bends and ready to fit in ..

But do you realise that not every place you fit in is where you belong.

So how do you define standing out?

Your football coach kicked you out of the football team...Is that what you call standing out!!.

Standing out doesnt mean When the Crowd moves north,you head south...

Or their right and yours....

You dont have to be flattering...just no to false show ups or flauntings.....

It is standing up for your individuality yet living a life of integrity....

It is great to have inspirations,or a role model,take the good in you, but don’t have to imitiate blindly....Theres a difference you see!

How do we define standing out!!

Let us take some of great men as an example,the ones who moved the world " revolutionised the world"...serving greatest gift to the humanity...

In the fight of freedom,influential leaders like mahatama gandhi ,aung san su ki ,martin luther king , nelson mandalla and list goes on...played a Dynamic role...

...2..So whats stopping you...is it the fear of being left alone,kicked out of the group,or some relationship?? Do you really belong to this place?

3.tell..You have the option to go with the road lesss travelled by...and stand out from the crowd...Go Find the recognistion to the unique yourself and shape up your individuality....

Two roads diverged in the woods and i took the one less travelled by and that made all the difference
--Robert Frost

So why to follow the crowd when you can be the LEADER

...

Just have a little faith in yourself and your ideas,and most importantly voice to your opinion...

Foster the Innovation ... Strive for the Creativity.....Look out for new ways ...Do something different..Do something wothy....

Go get your mark of remembrance ...your own walk of fame...

YOu only live once....live it large live it legendry

But what qualities does one require to shine out...?

For a good leader,one has to be good decision maker...n for that you have to start taking decisions on own ....you might fail but atleast you will end up learning...let the experience be thy teacher...

Good communication skills is equally important to communicate your ideas to the world...n get yourself understood....

You may take the calculative risks ....make sure to have a backup plan also...

But how do we nurture the self confidence in us?

You are already good enough...n have in you what it takes to shine...only you have undermined your potential since long..

Next the question arises how.....

Get past your insecurities,n fears...be as you are...its the part part you can play..

Easier said than done naa.....So hereby lets take the intitiate...you can pen down your biggest fears and biggest insecurities in a paper.. Now think about the ways to overcome each of them...

Start fostering positive thoughts against your insecurities ....

You are stronger than you think....

Are have already taken a step ahead....

....may be you can go for solo travelling...or get your hair colored in unicorn or show up in pyjamas to office....just kidding...

But a solo travelling would be great...

what say ...

5.So for now you the perks of standing out,so whats holding you back?

Is it the fear of rejection or criticism or mockery or in the worst cases threat to life and property...
or you simply feel ok trying to fit into other peoples shoes...

For this fear of being left alone will haunt you as longer you dont free yourself from the conformity...thereafter you would start loving the solitute too... JUst let it go guys...Let go the fear of being left alone,or the fear of criticism or the judgement...

6.Now we talk about the great men throughout the history who committed to the truth rather accept the conformity..

They were the Rebels..
THe troublemakers...
The Risk takers...

The one who led the Revolutions...

Philosopher Socrates not only stood for his beliefs but was also willingly accepted the death penalty rather than change his opinion....

He choose commitment to truth more than his life....

Dietrich bonhoeffer went against nazism and yet stayed in same country...eventually he was executed ...but atleast he had a mark in history for his bravery...

Then we had Thomas jefferson and his dynamic role in revolutionising america by challenging the existing norms and conventions..

Galileo with his sciencitic discoveries not only stood out of the crowd but also against the crowd courageously by challenging the orthodoxy of the church for his commitment to the truth..

They stood for the truth...for what was right ...went against all the odds..

6. So guys why follow the trends when you yourself can be a trend...

Do you wanna live a life of imitation or wanna sail your own harbour n explore the vast ocean which is ahead you..

It take nothing to fit in ..just few twist and turns....but it takes everything to stand out and make a diffrence in life
.
Its your life your decision.....
. Whether you want to live an impactful life or serves as a mere photocopy...
the choice is yours

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DEAR ZINDAGI

By funtoosh_DIARIES - October 28, 2018

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool your own emotional system.

Why in our culture we are expected to be happy all the time?

Why do we overrate the happiness and underrate the sadness?
Do you realise the more you push back your feelings,the more is the potential for explosion.

My Recent blog post is inspired from the movie"INside OUt" and a recent study which focuses on balance of both both positive and negative emotions for a better mental health.

For so long our culture has valued the positive emotions more than the negative ones.
Sometimes, we are just feeling sad,but that is not acceptable to our dear ones.
"Why such a potato face,kiss a smile"
"Good kids dont Cry"

In my career as a flight attendant,We had set expectations to bear a smile no matter how how the situations comes.But is really being happy inside out or a worn fascade?
I realised the more i strived towards the set standards of carrying the plastic smile,the more frustrated and closer to anxiety i was drawn.
This journey of emotional suppression backfired at me..

At times,when am feeling low or just not ohkay,i simply let my tears flow out..And it feels completely fine the next moment..Sometimes letting it out plays wonders than holding back and exploding..
People its completely ohkay to feel sad..Its totally normal..
Also does it drives empathy from our family and friends further strengthening the bond..
Sometimes sadness or crying is taken as a weekness..However sharing ones vulnerabilities with loved ones can build a good connection of trust further strengthening the bond.
Sometimes a friend who listen to your tales of sadness does you better recovery than the speech of optimism and positive thinking...

However some people adopt the quick fixes like alcohols,drugs,relaxants or binge eating...which is the weekness in actual..
"Dum maro DUm mitjaye GUm" these bollywood songs line are very much misguiding

The forced happiness did not help me deal with the stresses.
As a child,when our sadness is unheard,or suppressed or we are told to be a " good happy girl" we tend to become more frustrated and isolated and hideous of our true feeling from others...

In the pursuit of happyness we tend to suppress the negative acclaimed emotions of sadness,anger,fear and disgust..
Why does we prioritize positive emotions and suppress negative emotions?

In the movie Inside out,Joy treats the Sadness in the same ways our society treats us..She puts her in corners and forbades her touching anything.This is the mistake we make every now and then..

We all have wished for the sadness to disapper, and joyness to enter our life.Most of us dont realise the important role the sadness plays in our better mental being and falsely we perceive sadness for depression..
We fail to realise that sadness is critical component of happiness..
In the low times of my life,whether its failure to perform in exam,or my recent break up,the words of empathy and understanding by my dear ones,served as my healer and not some forced positivity and being happy notions..
My mental health became better when i started facing my inner emotions instead of avoiding..

Now lets switch to another powerful emotion in our life which plays the major in the survival

of our generation
The emotion that protects us from the danger and the potential harm.
well it is the emotion of fear.

It signals our mind to either Fight or Flight!

Well a healthy dose of fear is good for the survival

In my career as a flight attendent,the word turbulence was enough on itself to bring me tremors and a pounding heart..I am thankful to my emotion of fright which alerted me anytime there was a emergency situation and prepared me to fight the danger.
We are the FIghters because we Fear..

The fear of failure motivates us to work harder for the Exams
Fear of road accident guides us wearing the seat belt or helmets..

Fear of the wild ,signaled the fight or flight response in the early man playing the major role in our survival and existence.

Fear of the almighty and the karma has kept alive the morality inside us
Fear of catching illness,makes us practice the sanitation..
THe car locking system,inhouse anti theft system,fire exits in the multistoreys,emergency exits in the airplane and other precautionary actions are our fight responses to the Fear..

if their was no room for fear in our hearts,there had been no room for safety emergency procedures too..therein no precautions and more of accidents...

3.So stop being too hard on yourself.

Whichever emotion you feel deep inside yourself...

Now comes ANGER,my favourite emotions of all...While growing up i had temperamental issues and for right reasons was tagged as a Angry Bird...

Anger the most misunderstood emotion....

Now if i tell you Anger is a productive emotion ....if used without agression it can get you great results...

Anger is an emotion,whereas agression is resorting to

Now it makes us wondered that for so long anger has been taken a bad emotion...n we have had all negativity affiliated to this emotion....

You need need to get violent or abusive to be impactful....

You can just preserve that energy ,and use it in productive manner....

N this energy transformation would yield you most positive results....

But in contrast it is the most powerful n impactful emotion which could energize your world...

Do you still wonder that agression is bad...probably you are confusing anger with aggression....is physically or verbally abusive behaviour...

Interestingly when i was a child,n anything put me off or made me angry,i would resort to some intense swearings in the name of lord....n the faith n determination landed me good outputs...

I remember,failing in prebiard maths exam n swearing the next moment that i would refrain watching my favourite shows if dont come in merit...n wallah...made it too...

However when i more childish,i would take anger out yelling for not getting my favourite cookies,or banging crockeries...ahh! One time i had deflated my dad,s car too..doesnt tht sounds too immature....

However i was never a cry baby....

Being a grown up adult i understand the power of protest,n speaking out,also getting myself heard,in situation of injustice,or cheat...now we can give voice to our opinion on social media,also have online social forums,and media to get ourselves heard....

As a good example lers take my friend who was so devastated after his gf cheated on him...instead of taking aspirins or going in depression he showed loyalty to the gym...worked out intensively,n directioned his rage in a positive way...n now he has a strong mind n a solid envious body...

He got committed to hi gym...wink...

One more friend of mine become a freelancer poet n storey teller after breakup....he would just pen down every teArdrop n the storm that rage inside .....

I personally usually whistle ” n sing all is well” or dance in lord shiva rudra avatar...good for enhancing my dandancing talents...

If you also have anger issuess...i suggest you do some yoga n meditation...It is great therapy to calm the mind and relieves from stress and anxiety associated with anger

Being a pshychology student i would like to get you familiarized with the term art therapy...

Here's a question for dear Readers...

How do you define your anger...get posted in the comment box

...when you frustrate over failure in a test...or disloyalty in relationships,ditched by your loved one,deceived in business...

So peeps...peeserve the rage inside you...

The Ultimate key to happiness is expressing it out loud ...
Being mindful of our emotions without judging any emotion as a right feeling or a wrong feeling.

With this I end up with a quote from my favourite movie of all time"DEAR ZINDAGI"

khul kar ro ni saakoge to khhul kar has kaise paogey"
If sadness doesnot exist in the mundane world we cannot taste the sweetness of being happy

finally comes the "DISGUST"
This feeling of awfulness protects you not only from infected environments but also from the Toxic people.

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