DEAR ZINDAGI
By funtoosh_DIARIES - October 28, 2018
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool your own emotional system.
Why in our culture we are expected to be happy all the time?
Why do we overrate the happiness and underrate the sadness?
Do you realise the more you push back your feelings,the more is the potential for explosion.
My Recent blog post is inspired from the movie"INside OUt" and a recent study which focuses on balance of both both positive and negative emotions for a better mental health.
For so long our culture has valued the positive emotions more than the negative ones.
Sometimes, we are just feeling sad,but that is not acceptable to our dear ones.
"Why such a potato face,kiss a smile"
"Good kids dont Cry"
In my career as a flight attendant,We had set expectations to bear a smile no matter how how the situations comes.But is really being happy inside out or a worn fascade?
I realised the more i strived towards the set standards of carrying the plastic smile,the more frustrated and closer to anxiety i was drawn.
This journey of emotional suppression backfired at me..
At times,when am feeling low or just not ohkay,i simply let my tears flow out..And it feels completely fine the next moment..Sometimes letting it out plays wonders than holding back and exploding..
People its completely ohkay to feel sad..Its totally normal..
Also does it drives empathy from our family and friends further strengthening the bond..
Sometimes sadness or crying is taken as a weekness..However sharing ones vulnerabilities with loved ones can build a good connection of trust further strengthening the bond.
Sometimes a friend who listen to your tales of sadness does you better recovery than the speech of optimism and positive thinking...
However some people adopt the quick fixes like alcohols,drugs,relaxants or binge eating...which is the weekness in actual..
"Dum maro DUm mitjaye GUm" these bollywood songs line are very much misguiding
The forced happiness did not help me deal with the stresses.
As a child,when our sadness is unheard,or suppressed or we are told to be a " good happy girl" we tend to become more frustrated and isolated and hideous of our true feeling from others...
In the pursuit of happyness we tend to suppress the negative acclaimed emotions of sadness,anger,fear and disgust..
Why does we prioritize positive emotions and suppress negative emotions?
In the movie Inside out,Joy treats the Sadness in the same ways our society treats us..She puts her in corners and forbades her touching anything.This is the mistake we make every now and then..
We all have wished for the sadness to disapper, and joyness to enter our life.Most of us dont realise the important role the sadness plays in our better mental being and falsely we perceive sadness for depression..
We fail to realise that sadness is critical component of happiness..
In the low times of my life,whether its failure to perform in exam,or my recent break up,the words of empathy and understanding by my dear ones,served as my healer and not some forced positivity and being happy notions..
My mental health became better when i started facing my inner emotions instead of avoiding..
In my career as a flight attendent,the word turbulence was enough on itself to bring me tremors and a pounding heart..I am thankful to my emotion of fright which alerted me anytime there was a emergency situation and prepared me to fight the danger.
We are the FIghters because we Fear..
The fear of failure motivates us to work harder for the Exams
Fear of road accident guides us wearing the seat belt or helmets..
Fear of the wild ,signaled the fight or flight response in the early man playing the major role in our survival and existence.
Fear of the almighty and the karma has kept alive the morality inside us
Fear of catching illness,makes us practice the sanitation..
THe car locking system,inhouse anti theft system,fire exits in the multistoreys,emergency exits in the airplane and other precautionary actions are our fight responses to the Fear..
if their was no room for fear in our hearts,there had been no room for safety emergency procedures too..therein no precautions and more of accidents...
Do you realise the more you push back your feelings,the more is the potential for explosion.
My Recent blog post is inspired from the movie"INside OUt" and a recent study which focuses on balance of both both positive and negative emotions for a better mental health.
For so long our culture has valued the positive emotions more than the negative ones.
Sometimes, we are just feeling sad,but that is not acceptable to our dear ones.
"Why such a potato face,kiss a smile"
"Good kids dont Cry"
I realised the more i strived towards the set standards of carrying the plastic smile,the more frustrated and closer to anxiety i was drawn.
This journey of emotional suppression backfired at me..
At times,when am feeling low or just not ohkay,i simply let my tears flow out..And it feels completely fine the next moment..Sometimes letting it out plays wonders than holding back and exploding..
People its completely ohkay to feel sad..Its totally normal..
Also does it drives empathy from our family and friends further strengthening the bond..
Sometimes sadness or crying is taken as a weekness..However sharing ones vulnerabilities with loved ones can build a good connection of trust further strengthening the bond.
Sometimes a friend who listen to your tales of sadness does you better recovery than the speech of optimism and positive thinking...
However some people adopt the quick fixes like alcohols,drugs,relaxants or binge eating...which is the weekness in actual..
"Dum maro DUm mitjaye GUm" these bollywood songs line are very much misguiding
The forced happiness did not help me deal with the stresses.
As a child,when our sadness is unheard,or suppressed or we are told to be a " good happy girl" we tend to become more frustrated and isolated and hideous of our true feeling from others...
In the pursuit of happyness we tend to suppress the negative acclaimed emotions of sadness,anger,fear and disgust..
Why does we prioritize positive emotions and suppress negative emotions?
In the movie Inside out,Joy treats the Sadness in the same ways our society treats us..She puts her in corners and forbades her touching anything.This is the mistake we make every now and then..
We all have wished for the sadness to disapper, and joyness to enter our life.Most of us dont realise the important role the sadness plays in our better mental being and falsely we perceive sadness for depression..
We fail to realise that sadness is critical component of happiness..
In the low times of my life,whether its failure to perform in exam,or my recent break up,the words of empathy and understanding by my dear ones,served as my healer and not some forced positivity and being happy notions..
My mental health became better when i started facing my inner emotions instead of avoiding..
Now lets switch to another powerful emotion in our life which plays the major in the survival
of our generation
The emotion that protects us from the danger and the potential harm.
well it is the emotion of fear.
It signals our mind to either Fight or Flight!
Well a healthy dose of fear is good for the survival
The emotion that protects us from the danger and the potential harm.
well it is the emotion of fear.
It signals our mind to either Fight or Flight!
Well a healthy dose of fear is good for the survival
In my career as a flight attendent,the word turbulence was enough on itself to bring me tremors and a pounding heart..I am thankful to my emotion of fright which alerted me anytime there was a emergency situation and prepared me to fight the danger.
We are the FIghters because we Fear..
The fear of failure motivates us to work harder for the Exams
Fear of road accident guides us wearing the seat belt or helmets..
Fear of the wild ,signaled the fight or flight response in the early man playing the major role in our survival and existence.
Fear of the almighty and the karma has kept alive the morality inside us
Fear of catching illness,makes us practice the sanitation..
THe car locking system,inhouse anti theft system,fire exits in the multistoreys,emergency exits in the airplane and other precautionary actions are our fight responses to the Fear..
if their was no room for fear in our hearts,there had been no room for safety emergency procedures too..therein no precautions and more of accidents...
3.So stop being too hard on yourself.
Whichever emotion you feel deep inside yourself...
Now comes ANGER,my favourite emotions of all...While growing up i had temperamental issues and for right reasons was tagged as a Angry Bird...
Now comes ANGER,my favourite emotions of all...While growing up i had temperamental issues and for right reasons was tagged as a Angry Bird...
Anger the most misunderstood emotion....
Now if i tell you Anger is a
productive emotion ....if used without agression it can get you great
results...
Anger is an emotion,whereas
agression is resorting to
Now it makes us wondered that
for so long anger has been taken a bad emotion...n we have had all negativity
affiliated to this emotion....
You need need to get violent or
abusive to be impactful....
You can just preserve
that energy ,and use it in productive manner....
N this energy transformation
would yield you most positive results....
But in contrast it is the most
powerful n impactful emotion which could energize your world...
Do you still wonder that
agression is bad...probably you are confusing anger with aggression....is
physically or verbally abusive behaviour...
Interestingly when i was a
child,n anything put me off or made me angry,i would resort to some intense
swearings in the name of lord....n the faith n determination landed me good
outputs...
I remember,failing in prebiard
maths exam n swearing the next moment that i would refrain watching my
favourite shows if dont come in merit...n wallah...made it too...
However when i more childish,i
would take anger out yelling for not getting my favourite cookies,or banging
crockeries...ahh! One time i had deflated my dad,s car too..doesnt tht sounds
too immature....
However i was never a cry
baby....
Being a grown up adult i
understand the power of protest,n speaking out,also getting myself heard,in
situation of injustice,or cheat...now we can give voice to our opinion on
social media,also have online social forums,and media to get ourselves
heard....
As a good example lers take my
friend who was so devastated after his gf cheated on him...instead of taking
aspirins or going in depression he showed loyalty to the gym...worked out
intensively,n directioned his rage in a positive way...n now he has a strong
mind n a solid envious body...
He got committed to hi
gym...wink...
One more friend of mine become
a freelancer poet n storey teller after breakup....he would just pen down
every teArdrop n the storm that rage inside .....
I personally usually whistle ”
n sing all is well” or dance in lord shiva rudra avatar...good for enhancing my
dandancing talents...
If you also have anger
issuess...i suggest you do some yoga n meditation...It is great therapy to calm
the mind and relieves from stress and anxiety associated with anger
Being a pshychology student i
would like to get you familiarized with the term art therapy...
Here's a question for dear
Readers...
How do you define your
anger...get posted in the comment box
...when you frustrate over
failure in a test...or disloyalty in relationships,ditched by your loved
one,deceived in business...
So peeps...peeserve the rage
inside you...
The Ultimate key to happiness is expressing it out loud ...
Being mindful of our emotions without judging any emotion as a right feeling or a wrong feeling.
Being mindful of our emotions without judging any emotion as a right feeling or a wrong feeling.
With this I end up with a quote from my favourite movie of all time"DEAR ZINDAGI"
khul kar ro ni saakoge to khhul kar has kaise paogey"
If sadness doesnot exist in the mundane world we cannot taste the sweetness of being happy
finally comes the "DISGUST"
This feeling of awfulness protects you not only from infected environments but also from the Toxic people.
If sadness doesnot exist in the mundane world we cannot taste the sweetness of being happy
finally comes the "DISGUST"
This feeling of awfulness protects you not only from infected environments but also from the Toxic people.
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